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Friday, August 24, 2012

Gauri Khan : ''Shahrukh has given me so much that I couldn't ask for more''

Shahrukh has given me so much that I couldn't ask for more. I have enjoyed the pleasures of stardom. It's funny when people ask me how I've been able to retain my identity despite being married to a superstar. 
 When I married Shahrukh and came to Mumbai, I had my fears. Everything about the place including the film industry seemed so strange and awkward that every two months I'd run back to Delhi to my family
I met Shahrukh when I was in the ninth standard... I was 14 ½ and Shahrukh was 19. We lived in the same area. I met him at a party at the club. It was very casual in the beginning. We always hung around with a group of friends, his or mine. We never went out on dates. At that time, you are too young to call it an affair because affairs happen much later in life. We used to meet at the club, play badminton, swim and eat out together. 
That's how our friendship began. We were too young to go out and as it is I was not allowed to go out very often. Later, however, we did manage to go out in the nights because as you get into college, obviously you get more freedom. Shahrukh was terribly intelligent. He not only excelled in sports but did well academically too. He was the one to have influenced me to open my books and study. He even made all my history notes for me despite being an economics student. He was out of college by then but it was thanks to him I did well in my eleventh and twelfth.
How did our friendship grow into love? Well, I've known Shahrukh for 15 years now. I've been married to him for the last nine years. It all seems like a dream, like I've known him forever. It happened so young and gradual that we didn't think for a moment that we would not get married. When Shahrukh got into television serials, I was still in college. He did 'Fauji' and 'Circus' and started moving out of Delhi.
He also did a lot of theatre. Shahrukh was always very positive about our marriage but I was terribly apprehensive because my parents were dead against it.

For one, because he was Muslim and we were Hindus.
Secondly, they had their reservations about him being an actor.
Things were not working out for a while and Shahrukh began to get too possessive of me... I broke up with him for a short period because I got fed up of him and couldn't handle his possessiveness. I've always been a very independent person. But Shahrukh was so determined that he convinced me that things will work and we would definitely get married. I got back with him.

Then, his mother passed away when I was in the final year. He had already lost his father. Shahrukh was extremely close to his mother and he felt her loss terribly. That was the time he had got a lot of acting offers from Mumbai and he decided to move to Mumbai.
He signed 'Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman', Hema Malini's film 'Dil Ashna Hai' and 'Chamatkar'. For three months he was in Mumbai. He came back to Delhi and convinced my parents. Though my parents were not very happy about our marriage, they had no choice and we got married. I was 21 then. I did feel that I was too young to get married. But if Shahrukh got into films and settled in Mumbai it would have been difficult for us to communicate and probably our relationship would not have lasted.

We had a big and proper wedding. Basically, we had to go in for a court marriage because it was an inter-religion wedding. But we had all the traditional ceremonies like the sangeet, mehndi etc. Slowly, Shahrukh managed to win over each and every member of my family. And once my folks got to know him, they started liking him. Finally, they were convinced that Shahrukh was the right person for me.Soon after marriage, we moved to Mumbai... Initially it was very difficult for me to adjust here. The film industry seemed completely strange to me. Shahrukh kept telling me that if you cannot adjust here we will go back to Delhi. 

Every two months I'd go back to my parent's place in Delhi. The first few years in Mumbai were quite unsettling for me.Slowly, however, I started getting the feel of the place. I started working in a garment export firm. But suddenly one day, Shahrukh would tell me we are going to Goa on an outdoor shoot for a month. And I would just take off with him.

Obviously, when you're working, you can't go on a holiday every now and then, so I quit. Either I had to be with him or I wouldn't see him for days on end. So I preferred to travel with him because I was too lonely to be at home all by myself and working. Since then I haven't worked.

I joined Shiamak Davar's classes and learnt dancing as a hobby for a few years. I used to work out and do aerobics on a regular basis. I started making friends. And time just flew. I travelled a lot with Shahrukh. We didn't have kids for long because I wasn't too sure of myself then. I got a few film offers but it was so silly that just because your husband is into films, you automatically get acting offers. It made no sense at all. Just because you have the opportunity, you can't do something you're not inclined towards. And Shahrukh would never let me act in any case.

He is too possessive of me. He would rather die a million deaths than let me act or do even a small role in films. Today, I think I am more conscious of Shahrukh being a star... Till about a few years back I was clueless about how his films did or how big a star he was. 

In fact, I remember in my early days of marriage, I kept wishing that all his films flopped and we went back to Delhi. I didn't care whether his 'Deewana' or 'Baazigar' did well. I didn't see his movies. Till date, I haven't seen all his films. If he has done about 25-30 films, I must have seen only half of them. I had no interest at all in what he was doing. It was very strange but that's the way it was. Shahrukh had had an oil business in Delhi which was doing well. But when his mother died, there was major chaos in the business. Some people in the business got involved into black marketing of the oil tankers and the business went completely haywire.

Obviously, he couldn't rely on that and films was the only career he was interested in. He said if he didn't do films, he wouldn't be very happy.

And I was not really interested in him doing films...
which was why I never enjoyed his initial success.
Surprisingly, my family, who was more against him joining films, began to get involved in his career like never before. They prayed that his films did well and they watched all his films. I, on the contrary, never hoped and prayed that he did well. My involvement in his career was zero.

It's only now that I'm more aware of what he is doing and how his films are doing. Thanks to the great set of friends I made here who are mostly connected to films. Very gradually, I realised that he was becoming a star or had become one.

Now, I realise completely how important films are for him. His first production 'Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani' didn't do as expected but at least he has been able to achieve what he had always wanted to do.
Shahrukh was not satisfied with just acting, he wanted to be technically involved in films too, which, I think, he is slowly getting into.

Shahrukh has been in the film industry for about nine years now. He started from nowhere, without any filmi background whatsoever and today what he has achieved is commendable. He started with television serials and theatre and grew more popular with films. 

Today, he has his own production company Dreamz Unlimited, a lovely house, a son who he is mad about and another baby in the offing which will soon complete the family. One can't act forever. So now he is working towards directing films. He also wants to get into the internet business. His mind actually works in ten different directions. He wants to make different kinds of cinema. I personally feel he has achieved a lot. To just crib and keep asking for more is not fair. And how much can you ask for? There's always a limit. One cannot wish success always, one has to see failure too. And anyway, I don't think he is finished. He is seeing success and he will see success.

Shahrukh doesn't have any kind of family support...
Look at the other stars, they have parents, brothers, some kind of a backup. But Shahrukh doesn't have a single relation except for his sister Shehnaz who lives with us. The couple of relatives he has are either in Pakistan or London. He has friends but nothing can really substitute a family. He always feels very lonely. He is so self-made, it's amazing.

The media has criticised his film and everybody seems to be writing him off but the media, in my opinion, is only doing its job. I also feel that when you're popular, you have to face criticism. People only talk about you if you're known. Nobody will talk about A, B or C if he is a nobody. Criticism has to come with stardom and you have to learn how to deal with it.

Everybody goes through these phases in life. And that's what I tell Shahrukh, 'You're going through a bad phase and that's why you feel: why only me.' When you look back, you realise that when Shahrukh came, he was compared to somebody else and that person was criticised.

When someone new enters the industry, obviously there will be novelty and sensation. It is bound to happen.

The reason why people are putting you down is because they're fed up with your success. Also, there are people who are just waiting for that little slip and are ready to attack. But ultimately, your fate and your future cannot be determined by the press. Who is the press? They create you, they make you, they praise you. But by their praising or criticising you, nothing can be changed. People read and forget. Your future is based on your films and your work. People who are writing all this are non-achievers compared to Shahrukh. I have seen 'Kaho Na Pyaar Hai' and yes I liked it... Hrithik Roshan was very good. We know Hrithik, his girlfriend Sussanne Khan and their families personally. This whole comparison factor is so stupid. 

Firstly, he is a new boy, ten years younger than Shahrukh. He is very good but I've not understood this comparison issue at all.

People had compared Shahrukh to Amitabh Bachchan and said that Shahrukh had ruined Amitabh. But they don't understand that what Amitabh has been and achieved Shahrukh can never be. How can you compare Amitabh to Shahrukh? Amitabh was brilliant. They are two different people who have achieved success in their own ways and in different periods of time. 

Hrithik is brilliant too. But Shahrukh has done what he had to. That's how I look at it. It affects us to an extent that obviously nobody likes to read bad reviews about themselves. Shahrukh is definitely not sitting at home and sulking and most importantly he doesn't like comparing himself to anybody. It's not as if he has nothing to do and is suddenly without work. If the press is saying something negative, you can't buy out all the magazines so that nobody would read it. You just have to be strong and learn to deal with it.

He did his best in 'Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani' and one only learns with experience. He has learnt that probably different cinema doesn't work. The film looked good, the clothes were good, the songs were great but there was something lacking. He thought he was trying to make something different from the usual love story format. Now he understood that 'different' does not work and in future he will work towards more commercial cinema. 

He has realised that no matter how well you have acted, it's finally the story which is most important. However, a lot of people did like the film. As for me, I liked the film. The treatment was new, both Shahrukh and Juhi were fantastic, there were moments in the film which were great. But it lacked in the story line. The whole concept was not very appealing.

I'm being honest when saying that I liked the film but, yes, I didn't love it. It was not one of my favourites. I feel you have to make films for the public and not for yourself which Shahrukh has also understood. You can't keep saying that I like it when everybody else hasn't. People are not here to see what you like.

Shahrukh has started work on his next film... He is busy with his work. What I like best about him is that he is a completely different personality at home. He doesn't bring his work and work problems home. He tries to spend a lot of time with his family. For him, I always come first. I've never been sad or unhappy or suspicious that Shahrukh is upto something behind my back. How often do you pick up a magazine and read about Shahrukh having an affair with somebody? I've never read anything of that sort. 

He must have been linked with a couple of women but that is all rubbish.

If people don't write about him, who will they write about? Karan Johar is such a good friend of ours and it's so silly when people say both of them are gay. I feel like laughing and if people are saying all this rubbish, then they can say that the three of us are having an affair because both Shahrukh and I are close to him. And I know exactly what Shahrukh is doing.

Any wife would know for that matter. Of course, there are a lot of women who don't know what their husbands are upto. But I would know. I know what I can expect from him, what he can do for me, what he has done for me and the kind of respect he has for me.

People also say that he is materialistic. But tell me, which hero is not modelling for advertisements?

Everybody is doing the Pepsi and Coke ads. It's just that if Shahrukh is offered five ads, he does all five. The others get
one ad, they do one. And who doesn't perform at private parties? I've attended parties where other actors and actresses have performed. He believes he is just an entertainer and not some kind of a role model for others to emulate. 

Your life is for yourself, not for others.I try and look at the brighter side of stardom... And believe me, the positives outweigh the negatives. God has been kind enough to give us fame and fortune. You're literally on a pedestal and because of that high, you can take any amount of criticism with a pinch of salt. Shahrukh has also got the President's award. Tell me, which actor can boast of having eight Filmfare awards?

My entire family - my parents, uncles, aunts, my brother, his wife, my naani, are all very much into Shahrukh now. They feel happy and proud that their son-in-law has achieved so much. Things are a complete contrast from what they used to be.

My parents come here very often. Shahrukh is attending a function of the Rotary Club in Delhi on May 7 of which my father is the president. This is another facet of his personality people don't know about. Shahrukh does a lot of charity work. He is forever giving donations to hospitals and charitable organizations. He pays for the medical treatment of his unit members. He is terribly generous at heart but he doesn't like to talk about all the charity work he does.

Obviously when you're younger, you are very anxious about a lot of things. Now, I'm much more relaxed as a person. I have a wonderful set of friends with whom I party. Some of my friends who I meet up with everyday are Alison Kanuga, Alvira, Kajal Anand and Shabina (who designs Ajay Devgan's clothes).

Karan, of course, is a great friend. Now, I love Mumbai more than Delhi. I'm still in touch with my Delhi friends like Shivani, Supriya and Sabeina. If I didn't have such a good set of friends, life wouldn't have been easy. Aryan is two-and-a-half today... He looks exactly like me but he acts and behaves just like Shahrukh. He is very bright and naughty. Shahrukh makes it a point to pick him up from his play school at least once a week. He is completely obsessed with his father because for one, he sees less of him and secondly, Shahrukh is full of energy which I'm not. He can talk, dance and play with him endlessly. Aryan cannot sleep without him. Shahrukh has to spend two hours with him every night.

Aryan has brought about a big change in our lives, especially in Shahrukh's lifestyle. Now, Shahrukh thinks twice if he has to go on an outdoor shoot. He wants to make most of his films in Mumbai. He has cut down on his work quite a bit. Double shifts are completely out. He is not signing too many films. And with the second baby due soon, the future for Shahrukh would be spending more time at home. He is crazy about children. As for me, I'm happily awaiting the arrival of our daughter. Shahrukh is also happy that our second child is a girl. I don't want to think much about the past or the future. I believe in taking life as it comes, enjoying and making the most of what you have today."
(Credit : gaurifairy )

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